I was recently bestowed the honor of this song being compared to the 2000s
-pop Justin-Bieber Era.
This song was originally written in 2011.
Fuckin' nailed it.
*For a brief moment I considered adding the meme of the baby eating sand, "success baby," that was at its pique in that same timeframe for a fun little bit of irony. I decided against it to spare you and I both the cringe. Too much 00's for one blog post.*
WHAT'S THE INSPIRATION?
For me? I was wise beyond my years.
Though in this latest version I changed the lyrics a bit, At 14 I recognized a couple in my life were going through the absolute thick of it.
I mean I typically don't try to hide what's happening in any of my songs or make it any more ambiguous than it would have to be (to protect those it's about) so you're getting the whole story.
He's cheating.
She refuses to leave and insists he'll come around.
He keeps cheating.
She keeps giving him chances to a point where everyone's just annoyed at this point.
I was 14 and I was sick of it, honestly. I had no patience.
Ah, but Karma is a bitch.
You see, I rewrote the lyrics when I went to produce this song primarily because I had some first-hand insight since writing it!
Yes! I eventually also got cheated on! <3
Did I follow my own advice and leave the first time? Of course I fucking didn't! <3 <3 :)
So anyway, I had forgotten all about this song until I went to produce some of my old stuff and I just had to rewrite a little.
The second verse used to say
"He always treats you the worst. Pretending like you're not even there. Do you enjoy this kind of pain? You can't live your life standing out in the rain."
Implying she was just putting herself through this for the pity of everyone and her S/O.
I have now experienced that side and rewrote it to say
" He always treats you the worst. Pretending like you're not even there. You must enjoy this kind of pain cause he didn't ask you to stay, you put yourself in these chains."
So, with that new lyric change the song morphed into the main line being what a bff would say to a girly that needs to snap tf out of it.
So then I had an idea.
The bff is someone we all have when the boys get the best of us.
But how many of us are harder on ourselves than the friend is?
That's when I began writing the Left/Right panned adlibs... basically to emulate that angel/devil on your shoulder, voice in your head.
My favorite line of this is in the second verse when I wrote
"Why are you doing this? Are you a masochist?"
I mean cause honestly I didn't know why I wouldn't leave. Everyone else was like "honey..." and I was like "fuck why can I not do it? why can I not leave? do I enjoy this? What reason would I have to stay with someone, whether they love me or not, if they treat me so poorly?
Anyway
Long story short tho, I went to therapy and got it all figured out no worries, babes.
Just a lil reminder that some men ain't shit, and there's always someone out there who will treat you like the absolute goddess you are.
